Fighting the Network of Distraction

2000px-SMPTE_Color_Bars.svgDistractions play a big part in my life. They keep me from doing the things that I need to do which is why I avoid them the best way I can. This is the only way I’m ever going to finish book two.

The other night I was asked how I stay focused. I will admit, It takes practice. The thing is, I know exactly what can distract me enough to take away my focus. My goal is to write everyday so I can get into that zone. My zone is when everything clicks and it gets to the point where the only thing I’m doing is typing and words appear on the screen almost as if my mind has direct access to the page. This is when I become in touch with myself.

What’s really difficult is the events happening around me. The news, Twitter, Facebook, Netflix, family, and friends all play a role in this network of distractions. This doesn’t mean that I don’t welcome it but some distractions are worse than others. I can still continue to write in all those cases. I’ve been known to write with the television on or with company over but the quality of focus goes down.

However, they’re are times when having that television on or texting that friend does help in the process. Just because I haven’t written a blog about the 9 people murdered in a church in South Carolina doesn’t mean I’m not feeling it. Things like this just serve as a reminder to me why I must continue to do what I do. Talking to friends and fellow writers has also helped me remember certain themes in the book that I’m trying to maintain.

I really feel that I need to be writing always and I’ve trained myself to continue the process by giving myself soft and hard deadlines. My first book, Hanging Upside Down, gave me the awareness I need to write a novel but it many ways I had no clue what I was doing. Writing book two has given me the ability to train myself to write when I want to. What that means is that, when I was younger, I would write when the mood hit me but now I’m dictating that mood and making those sudden spurts of inspiration last over a longer amount of time.

The thing about distractions is that they can feed into any type of writer’s block I may have.The best way I’ve counteracted this is by reading, which is not a distraction but a part of being a writer. I wont get into any of the new Netflix shows or play video games until I’m satisfied with my process with this first draft.

My 2015 Summer Reading List

Summer Reading List 2005

If you ask any writer they will tell you that to be a good writer you must be a good reader. With that said, I’ve compiled a summer reading list for me to keep up with my craft. Some of these titles are new and some are old but they all will get read this summer. These are 12 books I plan on tackling.

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Ready Player One – Ernest Cline. This one comes highly recommended by someone I trust. Wade’s devoted his life to studying the puzzles hidden within this world’s digital confines, puzzles that are based on their creator’s obsession with the pop culture of decades past and that promise massive power and fortune to whoever can unlock them. 


13568836Salsa Nocturna: Stories – Daniel José Older. This guy is pretty big on Twitter & has a collection of books that’s impressive. A 300 year-old story collector enlists the help of the computer hacker next door to save her dying sister. A half-resurrected cleanup man for Death s sprawling bureaucracy faces a phantom pachyderm, doll-collecting sorceresses and his own ghoulish bosses.


23395349Show and Prove – Sofia Quintero. I cannot wait for this book to come out. Sofia is a good friend so this one is an easy pick. The summer of 1983 was the summer hip-hop proved its staying power. The South Bronx is steeped in Reaganomics, war in the Middle East, and the twin epidemics of crack and AIDS, but Raymond “Smiles” King and Guillermo “Nike” Vega have more immediate concerns.


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Bodega Dreams – Ernesto Quiñonez. This one is a classic & I should have read this already. The word is out in Spanish Harlem: Willy Bodega is king.  Need college tuition for your daughter?  Start-up funds for your fruit stand?  Bodega can help.  He gives everyone a leg up, in exchange only for loyalty–and a steady income from the drugs he pushes.


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Contraband – Charlie Vázquez. I met this dude a few months ago & I quickly realized that I needed to read his work. This riveting work of Latino noir follows the paranoid underworld exile of Volfango Sanzo, a man so haunted by his secrets that he escapes to sprawling networks of underground tunnels and labyrinths in near-future America… 


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NW – Zadie Smith. I saw her speak at Barnard College and she read an excerpt, I was sold. Truth be told I tried to read this before but I wasn’t ready for the brilliance; I will be now. Set in northwest London, Zadie Smith’s brilliant tragicomic novel follows four locals—Leah, Natalie, Felix, and Nathan—as they try to make adult lives outside of Caldwell, the council estate of their childhood. 


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The Accidental Native – J.L. Torres. This is another book that comes highly recommended from someone I trust. I picked this one up a few weeks ago. When Rennie’s parents die, he does what they would have wanted and buries them in Puerto Rico, their homeland. There, he’s shocked to discover that the woman who raised him was not his biological mother. 


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Night at the Fiestas: Stories – Kirstin Valdez Quade. I actually got this book sent to me for free by the publisher. I’m just getting around to this now. With intensity, dark humor, and emotional precision, Kirstin Valdez Quade’s unforgettable stories plunge us into the fierce, troubled hearts of characters torn between their desires to escape the past and to plumb its depths.


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Gathering the Waters – Keisha-Gaye Anderson. My fellow Syracuse University Alum. I’ve know her a long time. I’ve seen her perform her work so adding her to this list was a no-brainer. Its the only poetry book on this but it is worth it. Gathering the Waters is a poetic outpouring of kinship, heritage, and a woman’s transformation within the world that envelops her. 


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Attack on Titan, Vol 1 – Hajime Isayama, Sheldon Drzka (Translator). I had to put at least ONE comic book on this list. The anime version is incredible. In this post-apocalytpic sci-fi story, humanity has been devastated by the bizarre, giant humanoids known as the Titans. Little is known about where they came from or why they are bent on consuming mankind.


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The Devil’s Nose – Ingrid Miller. I needed a book about Ecuador. At the end of the nineteenth century, thousands of Jamaicans journeyed to Ecuador to fulfill their dreams for their future. But, to secure this dream, they had to accomplish their goal, which was to build President Eloy Alfaro’s dream project – a railroad system that would connect Guayaquil and Quito.


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Reconstruction, Pieces of Life Volume 1 – Serena Wills. Last but no where near least another SU alum. A very good friend of mine that just needs to be on this list. This poetry book speaks to many levels of relationships. It reads like a story and will take you through a journey of someone being in love, marital bliss to a feeling of betrayal and broken heartedness.


It will be challenge to complete this list but I’m confident. I need to read more and I hope some of you join me in reading these books. If I’m lucky, I will do another 12 for the winter.

 

Story Endings = Easier Beginnings. #amwriting

IMG_0400Today may be my day off but I’m actually working on this book. I feel that I need an extra edge by giving myself time specifically to write. At this point, I’m only writing between times in my life where I can sit down and concentrate and believe it or not, it isn’t very often.

Someone asked me the other day if it’s easier to write a book since I’ve already done it. While I don’t remember my exact answer, with the benefit of time to think about it, I can say that it’s definitely not easier (at least, not yet). My motivation for book two is not the same as Hanging Upside Down. With my first book, I had a feeling that I needed to get the story out of me so there were nights that whole chapters were being poured out into those pages. With book two, its different because I feel more strategic. I know that I want to get this book done by the end of the year so that edits can start. Then if edits start by a particular time then I can pick a release date. I never had to really worry about these things with the first book because I was learning as I was going.

In any case, my projected day has always been 2016. I don’t know when because without the first draft being done, everything is pretty much up in the air. The one thing for sure is that I’ve kept pushing myself to get this done. A week off will go a long way to making sure that I meet my goals. Sure, it is vacation from my full time job, but in many ways I still have to work. I still need to put in the time to make this work for me.

Today I decided to do something different. I’m writing the ending of book two because I need to lay out my end point. I need to remind myself that they’re plot lines that need to be wrapped up and I also need to set myself up for book three. Just like the last time I wrote a book, I knew how it was going to end. This time around, I just decided to write it out.

The other thing that makes book two a little tougher for me is the way I’m writing it. I want the reader to have a particular experience with this book and requires me to write this story in a way that I’m not used to. In addition to that, I’ve not been writing the book linearly as you may have noticed with my writing of the ending now.

I can’t really explain why I’m writing this way. I can only say that “easier” is relative. But since every story has an ending, this should help with my beginning.

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41-622x414I’ve been on a mission. I’ve been driven to prove to myself that my fourth decade of existence will be better the past three. I truly believe that life should get better the older we get. I also believe that every new goal that is set should mean more than the last.

Maybe its because I’m getting older and I view life just a little differently than I did when I was younger. In any case, I want to be able to see new sites and do things that I’ve never done before (within reason…I’m not jumping out of a plane). I would like to spend more time with people who matter to me.

I also feel that when you get to point in life, second chances to do things just seem to pop up. Dead relationships come back to life and (more often then not) old relationship come to an inevitable end. Second careers are born during this time and as I look further down the road, I truly do not know what to expect. The goal remains the same: continuous writing. From there, I will see what happens.

Right now, I’m just grateful for family and friends. I love the fact that when I go somewhere with people who know me, they tell me to keep writing. I love that.

Today, I received a great gift, a reminder to never stop what I’m doing. I ran into former colleagues from Syracuse University that I haven’t seen in a long time. We connected and bonded over current success. During the conversation it was pointed out to me that despite their busy work they found time to buy my book. These are people I haven’t seen in at least 5 years. I needed that…the universe knew I need to hear that. Despite any of my struggles, there are people out there rooting for me.

That was just as good as any gift I will get today.

Vegetarian? What?

vegetarian-dishes-328917_640Here’s the thing, I know too many people that are battling cancer in their lives. I’ve seen, first hand, the affect on family and friends. In every case, the doctors have said one universal thing, “you need to change your diet.” Its has been scientifically proven that there are certain foods have cancer fighting agents. So my thought in all this is, why wait for something bad to happen in order for a doctor to tell me to change my diet? I should just change it now.

This also happens to coincide with a fitness challenge that I fell into (You know, the kind where family is like…come on, you know you wanna). I started a 21 day challenge on June 1st where I do some form of exercise for 45 minutes everyday.  If I miss a day, I have to double my work out the next day. If you are into things like math then you realize that I’m currently on Day 5 and my body is sore as hell. My workouts consist of running and ab work…so my body basically hates me.

So that is 5 days without meat so far. What can I eat? Well for starters I can eat fish. I know, that would make me a pescatarian but It doesn’t sound sexy to me. I have virtually take sugar out of my diet too so the foods I’ve been eating have been salads, brown rice, broccoli, Quinoa, fruits, yams, pasta, potatoes, eggs, non white bread, and nuts. I started this with the idea that meat is no good for me with the chemicals that are added so the deletion of sugar from my diet was just an added bonus.

I’ve done some research and watched some documentaries (yay Netflix), like Forks over Knives and Fed Up, that have given me a clear understanding on what is happening to us when it comes to food. I wont get into major details but the reality is that we should only be consuming the max of 25g of sugar per day. If you look that up, we max that out just by having cereal and milk. Its the excess sugar intake that can lead to type 2 diabetes. I turn 41 in a week, I’m not trying to deal with that too.

Some of you may know that I’m a coffee drinker so what does that mean? At the moment, I drink black iced coffee unsweetened. It’s not as bad as I thought. In fact, nothing about this is as bad as I thought it would be. I thought I would be hungrier. I thought that I would crave a hamburger or at least a pork chop. I crave none of those things. In fact when I snack, its on almonds and peanuts. This is not to say that I don’t have small amounts of chocolate here and there but craving things like cookies, so far, hasn’t happened.

For the most part this is about not having any meat to see how it feels. I started off being very curious to see how my workouts would be effected by the change in my diet. Not to be cliche but I do have more energy. You see these commercials about that 2:30 feeling during the middle of the day? I used to have that. Now, I don’t and I think that is a direct result of lack of meat.

For the record, I was at the point already where I limited my red meat intake, so the meats I was killing all the time were chicken and pork (turkey too). Those are the meats essential to any Latino diet. Which brings me to the next question, will I ever eat meat again? I’m not sure. Its quite possible that meat maybe become a delicacy, something to have on special occasions. If I were to go eat it on a semi regular basis again, then it might just chicken breast.

But hey, the only thing for sure is that nothing is for sure. I will continue down this path and see where it leads me.

Order, Chaos, and Super Heroes

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The funny thing about nerds is that we tend to argue about the finer points of comic book logic that really has nothing to do with reality. This includes, but not limited to, things like the exact science of time travel or feminism in comic books. In the end, you would be surprised to see how many dudes actually believe that time travel is possible before believing that a female superhero can be legitimized. However, the point of order and chaos in the super hero genre is something that is highly debated.

Before we begin there are a few prerequisites that need to be met so you can understand why I’m taking you down this road (otherwise you’ll have to take my word for it) You need to be familiar with Justice League Unlimited, more importantly, the episode “Clash” which features a huge battle between Superman & Shazam. You will also need to have read Kingdom Come by Mark Waid and Alex Ross to understand the connection. Finally you should’ve seen the movies, Man of Steel and Captain America: Winter Soldier.

Let’s Begin.

There were two superheroes that I didn’t care for as a child: Superman & Captain America. As a young dark-skinned Latino, I found it hard to really connect with any of these larger than life white men. I lived in the Bronx and the ideals of Truth, Justice, & the American Way was something that didn’t resonate with me. However, I understood that both characters represented a set of ideals and no matter how corny I may have found it, these ideals defined the type of heroes they are. They’re both boy scouts created during a time when people needed something to believe in.

The comic book industry has changed over the last 25 years with superheroes being more present in our daily lives with movies and animation. Over that time, we have seen the evolution of how superheroes are written and marketed. Batman became darker and more violent which seemingly led DC Comics to go down that road because it makes more money. But how would this effect Superman?

In 1996, Kingdom Come addresses this issue. What if the line between order and chaos were blurred where people can’t tell the difference between hero and villain? It was Superman that lead the charge back to order. His “antiquated” ideals saves the world from its inevitable end because its all about finding another way to save innocent lives. It is this very idea that many people argue over when it comes to the Man of Steel. Do we want an updated version of an iconic hero that has been in our psyche for decades that blurs this line?

3727914-3353225879-CAPTAIn 2005, Justice League Unlimited was a wildly popular animated series on the Cartoon Network. It’s 30 minute episodes set the standard for current DC Animation. During that season, the viewers were witnessing a massive story arc where Lex Luthor (of course) was pulling all the strings. In the episode called, Clash (written by the late Dwayne Mcduffie) we see Shazam join the Justice League with much joy and adulation. He is touted as a boy scout much to Superman’s chagrin.

“I thought I was the boy scout” is the perfect line in this episode and when I re-watch it now, I realize that the changing of Superman began more than 10 years ago. While I try to stray away from interpreting someone else’s work, I really believe that McDuffie saw the writing on the wall and wrote a story where Superman was no longer the symbol of truth and justice. I would like to think that he had the question in his head, what if Superman’s line was blurred? Thus the fight between the two ensued that in the end it was Shazam quitting the JLU stating… “You don’t act like heroes anymore.”

Fast Forward to the age of the New DC 52 (which is soon ending) and the movie, The Man of Steel. We can talk all day about the science of this movie. We can debate on the massive amounts of damage during the battle of Superman & Zod. In my opinion, the ending is not debatable. Have we evolved Superman to the point where he no longer represents those ideals of the past? No matter your answer, we’re in a time where Superman had no choice but to kill.

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Then I think about Captain America, the last boy scout. He still represents what America should be and not what it is currently. This is something that I failed to see as a child. In Captain America: Winter Soldier there was point in which Steve Rogers had to choose what he wanted to do with his friend, fight to the death or leave his fate up to Bucky? Either way, he was with him to the end of the line. His faith in his friend and his ultimate ideals was the reason he survived that battle. He found another way.

So where does that leave us? Is it Batman that has the better set of ideals leading into Batman V Superman? Are we willing to subscribe to the thought that there’s a blurred line between order and chaos or should we adhere to the notions that a hero is more than just the sum of abilities, but rather the ideals the character upholds?

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Its all about #booktwo

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I always start out any of my life stories with “my life is never dull.” There’s nothing about this statement that a lie, which is why its hard to have time to sit down and hash out a blog post. Although, if you’ve been paying attention, I did drop my eleventh Huffington Post Article last week. All this to say that my free time, when I do have it, has been focused on my second novel.

At this point, I’m about 114 pages in and still working out all the minor details. Of course, I know how it ends so its just part of my literary journey to get there. I feel good about what I’ve written so far and I will be honest, I cannot wait to share it with people.

Just like the last time I went through this process, I’m starting to think about the next book. I’m thinking about ways to set myself up for book 3. Part of the reason for this is that it gives me the drive to keep going. I want to get to a point where all I do is just write books if I can continue to be inspired to do so. A large part of me feels that if I can continue to tell parts of stories, I will want to finish them or connect them in a later volume.

But for now, it is all about #booktwo. I’ve been really gearing myself up to do this with the right hashtag to let people know there are things that I’m doing which is related to this book. My inspiration comes from all around and there are times when an idea will hit me and I have to drop what I’m doing so I can write it down.

So what is #booktwo about? This novel is an extension of Hanging Upside Down with some of the major players from that book with in addition to some new characters. The main plot is centered around a book Louis wrote called, The Book Of Isabel that he shares with a very sick friend of his. I invite the reader to read the book along side his friend so they what she sees. However, before you think about how #booktwo is a prequel, there will be times when I will bring the reader to the present causing a shift between prequel to sequel.

I think it is a pretty bold move on my part to write a story this way but I intend on sticking with the main theme which is friendship. We all have friends that we we gain and lose. Sometimes we gain an unexpected friend and at times we lose a friend we never expected to. Life plays out in very strange ways and I plan on drawing our concepts of friendship (as well as relationships) that are difficult to handle for Louis.

Sure, I will be drawing a lot of this from personal experience but I think that the true fictional narrative will show. If you read the first book then you will see some of the same characters that you’ve come to expect and some new ones that will make you question the reason why Louis trusts anyone at all. I have some surprise that will lead into the third book.

Yes. There will be a third book in this “series.” Please understand, I never intended on this to be trilogy or even a series of books. I really was going to just drop this whole thing after #booktwo but I think that I have enough material to make a third book, which I think will be outrageous. But after that, I think I can move on to my other plans for other stories with in this “universe” that does not involve the exploits of Louis Ortiz.

I think by the time I even get to book four (which I kinda know what it will be about) I will have a myriad of characters to play with as I see fit. So with that being said, I’m back to the keyboard in hopes that #booktwo will be out sometime next year.

This Won’t End Soon

la-na-cvs-pharmacy-baltimore-riots-pictures-20150428None of this is going to end anytime soon. I want to start off by saying this because I believe there is a underlying question in the American sub conscience that asks the question, when is Black America going to stop rioting and move on? This is the same question that is fueled by the thought that if criminals didn’t act that way then what else do you expect to happen?

A: Severed Spine. Crushed Trachea.

tumblr_nnla15Uvcl1qzbucao1_1280People say violence isn’t the answer but we just happen to be at war all the time. Violence isn’t the answer but we’re ok with bombing other countries and we say nothing when Palestine gets leveled. So when people talk about violence, they mean Black violence. They don’t want to see any street in American on fire. Wait. It’s only acceptable if things are on fire because a sports team has won versus brown poor people acting all crazy.

I find it funny when people say, well if you don’t want the cops to bother you then don’t be a criminal (because obviously only criminals get harassed by cops). Clearly in that line of thinking… only criminals fit a particular profile. So what’s that profile? Are we talking about thieves who steal money? If that’s the case, where are the police when the housing market crashed? I don’t see anyone on Wall St getting stopped and frisked.

The reality is that to be viewed as a criminal in this country is to be viewed as less then human. So it’s apparently ok for you to get shot in the back or have your spinal column severed because these are criminals like in Law & Order. On that rare occasion they may get that Super Negro that frightens police and they need to shoot first because, as we know, The Avengers are only in the movies. They never get the benefit of the doubt (unless years later DNA tests prove otherwise….oops). Then when they get out of jail they cant find a job and can’t vote. What happens then?

A severed spinal cord is a break in the network of nerve cells in the spine. The spinal cord is a spongy white substance encased inside the hollow vertebrae and discs of the spine. This cord can be severed due to a traumatic injury. If the spinal cord is severed, it can cause paralysis below the point of the damage, which can be total or partial, depending on the level of injury and degree of impairment of the cord.

I find it funny that people say, oh, but why destroy your community? You mean the poor community no body bothers to think or care about until its actually on fire? I don’t live in Baltimore so I have no idea what they’ve been through. However, history shows that decades of police brutality, disenfranchisement, and poor socioeconomic conditions play into everything thing that’s happening right now. There’s no question that I have no idea what I would do if I grew up in a place such as this but I’m sure that if I was subjected to all these issues and was sick and tired of all the abuse and living conditions, I might burn down shit too.

tumblr_nnkh9dPVEH1qc8jh0o7_540Again, the only riots I see happening that have nothing to do with black lives are when sports teams win or lose. I see no one in the media condemning those to the same degree as what we saw in Ferguson and in Baltimore. <sarcasm font> I’m glad there is outrage over property being destroyed </f> because this is what many people value as opposed to Black lives which is what WE value. How do you expect anyone to care about property when they will never own it?

CVS has insurance for fire damage.

This country was founded on violence and murder. Black youth are criminalized all the time just for fitting a profile and while not all cops are bad….let’s acknowledge there is a problem with the system. Take responsibility by admitting this problem; if you cannot do that, then all you’re really doing is calling each and everyone of us delusional and I got news for you, none of this is going to end anytime soon.

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I Don’t Trust Them Very Much. #Mets

IMG_9542 I’m skeptical, that’s best way to put it. I’ve been a Mets fan all my life and in my lifetime I have been through the good, the bad, and the ugly. Unfortunately most of it has been bad and ugly so when they open the season red hot, I tend to not fall over myself because I’ve seen this before. Sure, I love the Mets but I don’t trust them very much.

This lack of trust has always been there but it is been deeply rooted since the second consecutive collapse of 2008. Once the restructuring began, I knew that it may be a very long time until this team would be in the conversation again. So now it is 2015 and they are 11-3 with a 9 game winning streak; undefeated at home. Time to get hype? No.

I know the numbers. Mets always have a decent April. But when they get into the grind of the season, they begin remember that they are the other team from New York. While people will point to stats that say this is the best start since 1986 and 2006, I will remind them that it is April and I refuse to buy into anything for the moment. There is still a ton of baseball left.

Before you come to the conclusion that I’m not a real Mets fan (to which I will laugh my ass off) understand that my feelings are that of caution. The real issue is that I hate to lose. Getting involved year after year with a team who’s owners don’t care is exhausting. Talking about this to people who think Mets fans have gotten use to losing is exhausting. There is not one person in the city of New York that is accustomed to losing. Ask any true Knicks fans how infuriating this is. The truth of the matter is that I want two basic things: the Mets to be in the playoffs every year and the MTA to stop raising its fairs. We all can’t get what we want can we?

So the absurdity to think that losing is something I’ve become accustomed to is crazy. But all this hype is too soon for me. I need to see this team during the tough times to really see what they are made of. I dont like the phrase, “This is our year” because it has been used too often by this organization. I just need them to just play and play as well as they’re playing right now.

I’ve been telling anyone who would listen that I will not buy into this yet. This teams is going make me care for them the same way I cared in 2006 and if my heart gets broken again, then it will be a long winter for me. So yes, I love the New York Mets. I love then they are battling to be relevant again. I love that, at the moment, they are a part of the conversation.

But, I just don’t trust them very much.

The Mistake of Trust.

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I’ve made so many mistakes in my life. The little mistakes are too many to count but the big ones…they scar. I have no problem admitting mistakes and while I seem to be a defensive person, I’m an open book of relative failures and successes. I’m also guilty of many things in the past such as, lying, stealing, and cheating but all of those pale in comparison to the biggest thing I am guilty of… trusting.

I’ve had this discussion before. I trust too easily, why? Maybe because I feel in some small way people are inherently good despite the fact that 9 times out of 10 I’m proven wrong. I have these talks with friends and loved ones that we, as humans, cannot all be as horrible as we think we are. There must be some amount of honor and credibility in strangers and especially in friends. Then something happens and you realize that honor is something you hear in a movie.

Want to know the honest truth? I very much enjoy being nice to people. I like meeting people but lately, I just find it hard to get close. I keep a safe distance and for the most part, I can be quiet. Why? I’m not sure I want to know what lays in the heart of strangers when I know what lays in the hearts of my “friends.”

That sounds harsh. I’m not that person that hates people. I’m speaking from a place that is raw because I trusted someone and now that trust is gone. When I was younger, broken friendship were a dime a dozen. Assholes come into our lives all the time in our twenties but as we get older we begin to filter out the bullshit. The plethora of friends we thought we had dwindles from two hands to one.

The term right hand man is probably meant as way to show that this person is only one of, maybe, five people in the world that can be truly trusted with secrets, money, contracts, and all matter close to the chest. This is the ride or die person that has fought the wars…together with us. Imagine what your hand looks like when you lose a finger.

I’ve been through horrible breakups, a divorce that changed me, thieving ex-friends, dishonest supervisors, untrustworthy co-workers, and family member drama. I survived all that and I’m still that person that may give a person $20 because they need it. I’m still that person that is willing to be nice to people. I’m still that person that wants to trust you, I just can’t.

I can only take so much. I can’t only extend that olive branch so far before I have to pull it back, but now I have to go a different route. I will be hurt but not angry because I know how to let things go. Thus I will let go of this friendship and never forget the good times nor the bad ones. I will never forget. For the minute I hit submit on this blog the deed is done.

We had our time together. I need to let you go.